So many great things the Lord has shown me in this season, but right now I am just thinking about her will to do. We cannot deny our loved ones, friends, or clients (if this is your profession) their ability to do even the smallest of tasks. If there is something she can do, no matter how small, it is up to me to die to my self and let her do it. Even if it is simply putting a quartered carrot, sliced down the middle in front of her so she can chop it up smaller....do it. Oh, so many things I have learned by watching her, but right now I think of one, and it is one of my top five most beautiful things in this world to watch...
G doesn't walk very well, her left side is impaired, but this hasn't stopped her from walking, even if it takes her 5 minutes to get to the bathroom, she would rather walk slowly than concede to the wheelchair. She takes one step with her right foot and then her left foot slowly raises its heel off the ground, then the arch of the shoe slowly raises with the heel and then the leg labors the foot forward while dragging the toe on the ground before dropping the weight of her will just inches from where it started. This is how she walks.
She arrives at the bathroom and with 3 labored moves to square herself up to the sink she begins her morning routine. And this is when I quietly walk down the hall to make sure she is in fact ok and I stand outside the bathroom looking in, she doesn't know I am there, and I watch her wet the washcloth under the stream of water flowing from the faucet and carefully wash her face with her right hand while balancing herself against the sink....and it is this moment, this moment right here that brings tears to my eyes...the sight of my 90-something year old grandma hunkered down, appearing so fragile, yet not giving up on the breath that is still in her lungs and the abilities, (though slight they may be), that she is still able to possess. Every morning she washes her own face and brushes her own teeth (well, soaks them anyway). You know how many mornings, days, I have said, "I don't feel like doing ________"? Fill in the blank; brushing my teeth, taking a shower, washing the dishes, vacuuming the floor, making the bed, washing the clothes; pick a task, you know, my grandma would give anything to be able to get up and vacuum the floor, to get up and make the bed, to get up and take a shower by herself...to just get up and move. I am able to do all these things, yet I complain; she is only able to wash her face and every morning she does it, with stiff leg, low mobility, labored steps....she moves, she does it. Lord, what more do You have to show me in order to get it through my thick skull to not waste what You have given me today? She has no idea how she has been used by the Lord, what He has used her to teach me, to show me, oh, how I pray to God that one day she will understand her radical impact on me in this season. Thank you Lord for giving me eyes to see her.
